I Never Believed In Santa Claus Because

The Only Thing I Like About St. Louis Is It Has The Best Zoo In America, In Forest Park. Washington University Is Next Door To The Zoo. Animals Get Out, They're Going To Eat White People Before They Get To The Ghetto!

Once We Used To Have To Crank Up Our Cars, Now You Can Pop It On From Inside Your House. Everything Has Changed Except How We Get Freedom.

Truth Is The Baby Of The World. It Never Gets Old.

The Funniest Jokes You Know Aren't From Comics But Relatives, Friends - From Your Life. That's The Funniest Stuff.

If Democracy Is Such A Good Thing, Let's Have More Of It.