I Love This Country For Several Reasons,

I Don't Need To Be Born Again. I Got It Right The First Time.

If You Could Use The Internet Somehow To See How A Fiji Sailor Is Doing, Rather Than Having To Read A Text Version Of It Somewhere A Day Later, That Would Be Great.

Other Than The Bombs They Strap To Their Chests, Ive Got No Idea What Makes The Palestinians Tick.

America May Be The Best Country In The World, But That's Kind Of Like Being The Valedictorian Of Summer School.

Ray Lewis Knifed Through Those Offensive Linemen Like A Sucker-punch Switchblade Slicing Between The Ribs Of Some Inebriated Trash-talking Punk Outside A Sports Bar.