I Love Prada. Not So Much The

I've Always Been Melancholic. At A Party, Everyone Would Be Looking At The Glittering Chandeliers And I'd Be Looking At The Waitress's Cracked Shoes.

Besides, I'd Seen A Really Nice Pair Of Shoes Yesterday In The Mall And I Wanted Them For My Own. I Can't Describe The Feeling Of Immediate Familiarity That Rushed Between Us. The Moment I Clapped Eyes On Them I Felt Like I Already Owned Them. I Could Only Suppose That We Were Together In A Former Life. That They Were My Shoes When I Was A Serving Maid In Medieval Britain Or When I Was A Princess In Ancient Egypt. Or Perhaps They Were The Princess And I Was The Shoes. Who's To Know? Either Way I Knew That We Were Meant To Be Together.

I Wished There Was Some Kind Of Switch On My Brain. That I Could Turn It Off In The Same Way That I Could Turn Off The Television. Just Click It Off And Immediately Empty My Mind Of All These Images And Worrying Thoughts. And Simply Leave A Blank Screen. Or If I Could Just Remove My Head And Put It On The Bedside Table And Forget About It Until Morning. And Then Attach It Again When I Needed It.

... I Am More Of An Ambler. I Once Overheard My Old Boss In Dublin Describe Me As Very "hello Trees, Hello Flowers." It Was Intended As An Insult And It Fulfilled Its Brief; I Was Insulted. I Had Little Interest In Greeting Trees And Flowers But Nor Did I Treat Life As A Treadmill, On Which It Was Vital To Keep Fleeing Forward In Order To Avoid Being Sucked Off The Back And Out Of The Game.

My Truth Is That What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Weaker Rather Than Stronger, Although It Makes You Wiser.