I Like My Friends Because They Make

I Believe That Every Paper In The Country Should Have One Headline That When You Read It, You Laugh So Hard You Can't Stand It. It Has To Be That Way. What About A Headline Like This: 'hippo Eats Dwarf'? How Good Is That? You Read That Headline, And You Immediately Close The Paper And Say, 'wow, It's Gonna Be A Great Day.

We Have A Two-party System: The Democratic Party, Which Is A Party Of No Ideas, And The Republican Party, Which Is A Party Of Bad Ideas.

I Love Anything That Gets Me Outside Of My Own Head.

I Was Home Alone Watching George Bush Speak On Television. So It Was Just Really The Two Of Us. And As I Listened To Him, I Realized, That One Of Us... Was Nuts! And For The First Time Ever, I Went, 'wow, It's Not Me!'

The Last Person To Get Across That Town In Under Three Hours Was Yelling "the British Are Coming! The British Are Coming!"