I Like Birthdays. Every Time Someone Is

But Long Story Short, I Didn't Start Doing Stand-up Because I Wanted To Have A Tv Show Or Be An Actor Or Even Wanted To Write Sketch Comedy. I Got Into Stand-up Because I Love Stand-up.

When I Trip, I Feel Like That's The World Saying Come Here For A Second. It Just Pulls Me Closer For A Second, Yeah What Do You Want? I Just Want To Remind You That You're Uncoordinated. I'm Aware Of That, Thank You... Can I Go Now? Yeah, You Can Go, But Never Ever Try To Outrun Me. Ok, World, See You Later. Yeah, I'll See You In About 50 Years.

I Think, At First Blush, The '60s Always Enticed Me. There's Something About The '60s, It's Not Hard To Like It.

If You Remove A Treehouse From A Tree, Than It's Just A Shitty House. Sometimes When I'm In A Shitty House, I Like To Imagine That It's In A Tree, Than It's Like Woah, This House Is Amazing.

I Have A Time Machine At Home. It Only Goes Forward At Regular Speed