I Learned About Sex The Hard Way...

Now There's A Seven-day Waiting Period To Buy A Gun. Who Can Stay Mad That Long?

I Don't Really Hang Out With People. I Like To Be By Myself. In Fact, I've Been Arrested A Few Times Because I Like To Walk Around At Two Or Three In The Morning, Looking At Shop Windows. The Cops Take Me To The Station And Fingerprint Me. But I Wouldn't Call That Hanging Out.

The Scots Are A Very Tough People. They Have Drive-by Headbuttings. In Glasgow A Sweatband Is Considered A Silencer.

I'm Not A Fatalist; Even If I Were, What Could I Do About It?

I Got A Letter From The Irs. Apparently I Owe Them $800. So I Sent Them A Letter Back. I Said, If You'll Remember, I Fastened My Return With A Paper Clip, Which According To Your Very Own Latest Government Pentagon Spending Figures Will More Than Make Up For The Difference.