I Know What It Feels Like To

Every Time I Nostalgically Try To Regain My Liking Of John Mccain, He Reaches Into His Sleaze Bag And Pulls Out Something Malodorous.

I Guess The Best Advice I Ever Got Or Anyone Could Get For Doing A Talk Show, Though It Has Not Been Easy Very Often, Was From Jack Paar, Who Said, 'kid, Don't Make It An Interview. Interviews Have Clipboards, And You're Like David Frost. Make It A Conversation.'

I'm Sure I've All But Lost Friends By Maintaining That, Despite Their Love For It, I Always Saw Stanley Kramer's 'it's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World' As More Of An Exercise In Anti-comedy Than Humor.

All Three Of My Parents - I Also Had A Stepmother - Were Teachers, And My Dad Taught High School, And As He Always Reminded Me When I Was Going To Spend Some Money On Something, 'your Mother And I, In The Depression, Had To Decide Whether To Spend A Dime On A Loaf Of Bread Or If We Could Go To A Movie With It.'

Every Time Someone Says, 'you Know, We Really Ought To Get Together,' If I Were Really Honest, I Would Ask 'why?'