I Just Try To Keep Myself A

I Don't Like Cursing In Movies. I Feel Like Cursing Has Become The New Hackiness. You Try To Find Substitutions For Cursing.

I Dream Of Starting A Three-man Country Trio Called The Chixie Dicks.

We All Know How Funny Morrissey Is. Actually, You Know What? I Say That Sarcastically. His Songs Are Some Of The Funniest Songs I've Ever Heard In My Life. I Mean, Really. I Mean, Not That The "girlfriend In A Coma" Is, Like, Really Funny.

As A Comic, It's Anti-comedy To Be Known. I Think A Lot Of Comedic Actors Get Lost In This World Of Hollywood And All This Stuff. They Lose What Brought Them There In The First Place. I'm Very Trepidatious About It.

I Used To Be Really Cute. I Could Send You Earlier Photos Where I'm Stunning. But I've Gained About Twenty Pounds Over The Past Two Years, And The More Weight I've Put On, The More Success I've Had. If You Drew A Diagram Of Weight Gain And Me Getting More Work, A Mathematician Would Draw Some Conclusions From That.