I Just Didn’t Want To Be Pigeonholed

I Always Hate Telling My Jokes In Print 'cause I Always Feel Like It Reads So Not Funny And People Read It And They Think, 'oh, So That's What That Guy Does In His Stand-up? That's Terrible.'

With Stand-up, It's More Interesting To Hear About People's Failures Than Their Successes.

I'm Kind Of Obsessed With Food. I Like To Eat. When I Tour, It's Like, Well, Like A Food Tour As Much As A Comedy Tour.

You Can't Say Your Favorite Kind Of Cake Is Birthday Cake, That's Like Saying Your Favorite Kind Of Cereal Is Breakfast Cereal.

I Went To A Place Recently I Think Is One Of The Most F**ked Up Places I've Ever Been To. I'm Convinced This Place Is The Epitome Of American Excess, Of American Greed. I'm Talking About A Place Called Cold Stone Creamery. Whoa. If You Have Not Been There, The Basic Gist Of Cold Stone Is That They Take Ice Cream And Then They Just Go Ape Sh*t With It.