I Have To Get A Licence To

The Ego Is Like A Kid In The Basement: It's Best To Keep Him Busy.

The Big Advantage To Playing The Venetian In Las Vegas - Where It's A Beautiful Theater - Is That Unlike Other Places, Even Many Other Nice Venues, I Can Do A Set And Lighting Cues, I Can Put On A Real Show. I Can Dress Up, Wear A Tux.

There Is No Greater Feeling Than When A Groom Turns To See His Bride And Has Tears In His Eyes Because She Is So Beautiful.

Electricity Can Be Dangerous. My Nephew Tried To Stick A Penny Into A Plug. Whoever Said A Penny Doesn't Go Far Didn't See Him Shoot Across That Floor. I Told Him He Was Grounded.

While Awaiting Sentencing, I Decided To Give Stand-up Comedy A Shot. The Judge Had Suggested I Get My Act Together, And I Took Him Seriously.