I Have This Terrific Make-up Man. But

The Last Time I Played Golf With President Ford He Hit A Birdie. And An Eagle, A Moose, An Elk, An Aardvark...

Failure Is The Only Thing I've Ever Been A Success At.

I Get Upset Over A Bad Shot Just Like Anyone Else. But It's Silly To Let The Game Get To You. When I Miss A Shot I Just Think What A Beautiful Day It Is. And What Pure Fresh Air I'm Breathing. Then I Take A Deep Breath. I Have To Do That. That's What Gives Me The Strength To Break The Club.

Don't Tempt Me, I Can Resist Anything But Temptation.

I Need Money. I Have A Staff Of 30, And Four Houses, Never Mind The Government, To Support.