I Have The Show Because I'm Insecure.

Sex After One Child Shows Down. After Twins... Ooh... I'll Tell You What It Is For Us. I'll Share It With You. Every Three Months. We Don't Plan It That Way. That's Just How It Works Out. It's The Weirdest Thing. You Know What I Do? Every Time I Have Sex, The Next Day I Pay My Estimated Tax. My Quarterlies Are Due. If It's Oral Sex, I Renew My Driver's License.

My Theory Has Always Been That Everyone In Show Business Is There Because They Were Deprived Of Some Attention As A Child.

When You Wake Up One Day And Say, "you Know What? I Don't Think I Ever Need To Sleep Or Have Sex Again." Congratulations, You're Ready (to Have Children).

As An Actor, That's Nerve-wracking Enough [drunk And Doing Coke] Because You Have To Do It At The Right Level.

I Put Myself On Tape And The Cool Thing Was That Martin Scorsese Had Never Heard Of Me. He Had Never Seen [everybody Loves Raymond]. I Was Just An Unknown Actor To Him. I Don't Want To Sound Conceited, Like He Has To Know Who I Am, But That Seemed A Little Odd. He's A Film Genius. He Doesn't Watch Sitcoms.