I Have No Qualifications To Do Anything

If You're A Comic, You Don't Have A Rehearsal Room, You Rehearse On Stage. My Main Concern Is Remembering Everything.

I Don't Mind Most Religious People, I Talk To Them. I Listen To Them, You Know, Banging On. "i Prayed Very Hard And Then The Fairy Came." "did He? Good. Have A Biscuit." I Only Get Annoyed When They Try And Make Me See The Fairy. "you Have To Let The Fairy Into Your Heart." Look, I Wouldn't Let Him Into My Garden, Okay? I'd Shoot Him On Sight, If He Existed, Which He Doesn't. Now Have Another Biccie And Be Quiet, Will You Please?

Don't Do It! Stay Away From Your Potential. You'll Mess It Up, It's Potential, Leave It. Anyway, It's Like Your Bank Balance - You Always Have A Lot Less Than You Think.

I'm A Vegetarian, Well I'm Not Hardcore Because I Eat Meat, But Only Because I Like The Taste, And I Hate Vegetables On A Personal Level So I'm Not Too Good!

I Dislike Both Of [candidates] But There's Obviously No Choice In The Election - If You're Concerned About The Future Of Anything, You Need To Vote For Hillary Clinton.