I Have No Plants In My House.

And I'll Tell Ya, I'm Really Enjoying This Marriage Thing. You Think About Each Other. You Care About Each Other. It's Wonderful! Plus, I Love Saying 'my Wife.' Once I Started Saying It, I Couldn't Stop - 'my Wife' This, 'my Wife' That...it's An Amazing Way To Begin A Sentence.

If Airline Seat Cushions Are Such Great Flotation Devices, Why Don't You Ever See Anyone Take One To The Beach?

Folks Who Go Through The Tabloids Ought To Have To Be Lied To.

The Greatest Thing About Being A Comedian Is Knowing Other Comedians. And You Get To Talk To Them. Its The Most Fun.

I Admire The Hell Out Of Her. You Can't Have Sex With Someone You Admire.