I Have Found Christian Dogma Unintelligible.

Twas Noah Who First Planted The Vine And Mended His Morals By Drinking Its Wine.

If You Teach A Poor Young Man To Shave Himself, And Keep His Razor In Order, You May Contribute More To The Happiness Of His Life Than In Giving Him A Thousand Guineas. This Sum May Be Soon Spent, The Regret Only Remaining Of Having Foolishly Consumed It; But In The Other Case, He Escapes The Frequent Vexation Of Waiting For Barbers, And Of Their Sometimes Dirty Fingers, Offensive Breaths, And Dull Razors.

Let Our Fathers And Grandfathers Be Valued For Their Goodness, Ourselves For Our Own.

A Quarrelsome Man Has No Good Neighbours.

Many A Man Thinks He Is Buying Pleasure, When He Is Really Selling Himself To It.