I Have A Very Primitive Sense That

I'm Not A Racist. It's Really Case By Case; It's Not Ethnicity Specific. It's Just The Way I React To Things That Are Different. I Think That's Normal. Everyone's Nervous When They're Confronted With Things That They Don't Understand Or Are Different. That's A Normal Human Reaction. It Doesn't Become Racist 'til You Say Things Like, 'oh, There's A Lot Of Them.'

I’m Glad To Be Part Of The War On Sadness. I’m A Part Time Employee Of The Illusion That Keeps People Stupid.

They Are Not Testing Comics For Drugs. If Our Job Is Dependent On That, There Would Be Three Working Comics In The Country, And Two Of Them Would Have Puppets.

Have You Ever Had One Of Those Moments When You Look Up And Realize That You're One Of Those People You See On The Train Talking To Themselves?

I Don't Make A List Of Questions. Ever. I Think A Lot Of My Interviews Are Driven By My Need To Feel Connection.