I Had Always Been - Everybody Kind

Two Hours Of Sparkling Entertainment Spread Out Over A Four-hour Show.

I Am Just Here To Support The President Of The United States. President Of The United States Is Our Boss, But He Is Also... You Know, The President And The First Lady Are Kinda Like The Mom And The Dad Of The Country. And When Your Dad Says Something You Listen, And When You Don't It Will Usually Bite You On The Ass Later On. So, I'm Here To Support The President.

I'm Like The Hulk On Stage. It's Way Over The Top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I Get Off Stage And Go What Did I Say?! I'll Watch One Of My Stand-up Specials A Year Later And Go Eww, That Was Mean.

All People Naturally Hate. My Kid Bites People Now. I Didn't Teach My Kid To Bite Anybody. Kids Say Mean Stuff. Only Through Love Do We Get This Evil Out Of Them. Only Through Love And Structure And Discipline Do They Not Hate. The Kids That Hate Didn't Learn Anything, That's The Problem.

When People Try To Read Between The Lines - Critics, They Have A Job. Their Job Is To Make Something Bigger Than It Is.