I Grew Up Very Self-loathing. I Was

Time Machine... Wouldn't You Like To Travel Through Time? I Would. I'd Go Back... Mess With People. You Know What I Would Do? I Would Go Back To When My Mom And Dad Were Having Sex, To Have Me. Ya'know, Come In, Spank My Dad On The Ass I'm Your Son From The Future! Ahaha!

Pain Only Hurts When You Are Looking For A Reason To Quit. You Don't Feel A Thing When You Know You Can Still Win.

I Think That People Who Do Enjoy My Stand-up Comedy And The People Who Get It And The People Who Are Taken In By It, They See That I'm A Guy That Has Love Of The Game.

Every Joke Has Its Origin - The Punching People In The Face Joke. It Hurts Like Hell To Get Punched In The Face.

I Don't Laugh Out Loud At Comics A Lot.