I Got Into My Usual Obsessive Writing

I Hate Christmas. Everything Is Designed For Families, Romance, Warmth, Emotion And Presents, And If You Have No Boyfriend, No Money, Your Mother Is Going Out With A Missing Portuguese Criminal And Your Friends Don't Want To Be Your Friend Anymore, It Makes You Want To Emigrate To A Vicious Muslim Regime, Where At Least All The Women Are Treated Like Social Outcasts. Anyway, I Don't Care. I Am Going To Quietly Read A Book All Weekend And Listen To Classical Music.

It Is A Truth Universally Acknowledged That As Soon As One Part Of Your Life Starts Looking Up, Another Falls To Pieces.

I Like L.a. It's Like A Mini Break. For A Writer, It's Hilarious. Like The Food. Where I Come From, We Eat Chip Sandwiches: White Bread, Butter, Tomato Catsup And Big Fat French Fries. It's Delicious. Here, You Order A Creme Caramel And The Waiter Says, 'you Know, That Contains Dairy.

Eventually, I Manage To Cheer Mum Up By Allowing Her To Go Through My Wardrobe And Criticize All My Clothes.

I Like You Very Much. Just As You Are.