I Feel Devoutly Thankful To Have Been

I May Be Drunk, Miss, But In The Morning I Will Be Sober And You Will Still Be Ugly.

If You Have An Important Point To Make, Don't Try To Be Subtle Or Clever. Use A Pile Driver. Hit The Point Once. Then Come Back And Hit It Again. Then Hit It A Third Time - A Tremendous Whack.

Don't Be Careless About Yourselves--on The Other Hand Not Too Careful. Live Well But Do Not Flaunt It. Laugh A Little And Teach Your Men To Laugh--get Good Humor Under Fire--war Is A Game That's Played With A Smile. If You Can't Smile, Grin. If You Can't Grin, Keep Out Of The Way Till You Can.

I Am Strongly In Favour Of Using Poisoned Gas Against Uncivilised Tribes.

Life Is Fraught With Opportunities To Keep Your Mouth Shut.