I Don't Worry About Getting Old. I'm

I Never Go Jogging, It Makes Me Spill My Martini.

Sex After 90 Is Like Trying To Shoot Pool With A Rope. Even Putting My Cigar In Its Holder Is A Thrill.

Everyday Happiness Means Getting Up In The Morning, And You Can't Wait To Finish Your Breakfast. You Can't Wait To Do Your Exercises. You Can't Wait To Put On Your Clothes. You Can't Wait To Get Out. And You Can't Wait To Come Home, Because The Soup Is Hot.

I Don't Believe In Dying. It's Been Done. I'm Working On A New Exit. Besides, I Can't Die Now - I'm Booked.

When Jack Benny Has A Party, You Not Only Bring Your Own Scotch, You Bring Your Own Rocks.