I Don't Want To Wake Up With

It's Always Difficult When Someone Close To You Passes Away. But It's Really Tough When They're On Top Of You.

My Girlfriend Is Upset About Her New Haircut. I Don't Understand Why She's Crying. I'm The One Who Has To Get A New Girlfriend.

I Have A Twelve Year Old Sex Doll. Brand New.

I Had Written For Jimmy Kimmel And Sarah Silverman In The Past. Jimmy Had A Different Voice, And Different Priorities. He Couldnt Be The Bad Guy In The Joke; He Couldnt Upset People, Really.

I Like To Play Pranks On My Girlfriend, You Know, Keep Things Fresh For Me, Make Me Laugh, You Know? She Hates It. But Like, The Other Night, I Put Saran Wrap Over The Toilet Seat, You Know, Which Doesn't Sound That Original, But She's Bulimic.