I Don't Understand Why It Has To

I Think Women Like Ferraris. A Ferrari Is Everybody's Car.

I Think There's A Percentage [of The Audience] That Don't Realize, That Don't Know That [standup] Is How Everything Began. We Planned It, We Work Hard, Rehearsals To Get This. It's More Of A ... It's Not Just Coming In There In A T-shirt And Holding A Microphone.

When I Went To Jail, Reality Hit So Hard That It Took My Breath Away, Took My Stance Away, Took My Strength Away. I Was There Buck Naked, Humiliated, Sitting In My Own Crap And Urine - This Is A Metaphor. My Ego Had Run Off. Your Ego Is The Biggest Coward.

I Know It Sounds Odd, But I Want To Make A Rolex-quality Screwdriver.

There Are Flaws In The Way Politics Is Reported In This Country Today And We Should Do Something About It, .. Radio And Television Coverage Of Politics Doesn't See Its Role As A Mission To Explain, But To Destroy, In A Pernicious Culture In Which Journalists Pit Themselves Against Politicians.