I Don't Understand The Sizes Anymore. There's

Do You Live Each Day As If It's Your First Or Your Last? Either Way You Should Probably Have A Diaper On.

If We Don’t Want To Define Ourselves By Things As Superficial As Our Appearances, We’re Stuck With The Revolting Alternative Of Being Judged By Our Actions.

All The Commercials On Tv Today Are For Antidepressants, For Prozac Or Paxil. And They Get You Right Away. "are You Sad? Do You Get Stressed, Do You Have Anxiety?" "yes, I Have All Those Things! I'm Alive!"

I'm So Unfamiliar With The Gym, I Call It James!

No Matter How Popular You Are As A Stand-up - You Can Go Out And Fill A 10,000-seat Arena And Be Smart And Funny - It's Delicate To Host An Awards Show And Know Where Your Place Is And Know That It's Not About You, That It's About The People Who Are Nominated, And Respect That, But At The Same Time Have Your Moment To Show Them Who You Are.