I Don't Remember A Time When I

People Invite Me To Dinner Not Because I Can Cook, But Because I Like To Clean Up. I Get Immediate Gratification From Windex. Yes, I Do Windows.

What I Like To Write About Is Stuff I Know. I Don't Think I Could Write A Novel. I Don't Think I Have It In Me To Come Up With Those Kinds Of Characters.

You Know, One Wonderful Thing That Came Out Of My Enquirer Experience Is That, In My Case, It Was Ruled Tabloids Are Magazines. Which Means They Didn't Have The Protection That A Newspaper Has.

No One Ever Said Life Was Fair. Just Eventful.

Adolescence Is Just One Big Walking Pimple.