I Don't Know If Watching Chaz Bono

I Think One Reason People Play Golf Is It Allows Them To Obsess About Something Other Than The Daily Crap. It Takes Your Mind Off That.

Republicans And Democrats Can Barely Do What They're Supposed To Do, And They Sure Can't Do Math!

When They Played, It Wasn't Music. It Was The Sound Of Chaos. I Knew It Was The Sound Of Chaos Because You Could Hear Pigs Being Slaughtered. Women Were Weeping And Men Were Gnashing Their Teeth, And There Were Sounds So Horrible That I Cannot Repeat Them To You, Or You Would Flee From This Room In Horror!

If There Is Hell, It Was Modeled After Junior High School.

I'm Not A Great Joke Writer, Which Is Odd For A Comic To Say, But I'm Not.