I Don't Get Why Arabs Are So

It's Hard For Me Not To Be Extraordinarily Cute. I Had To Fight It.

Some People Just Can't Handle That They Will Never Be A Better Actor Than Me

I Can't Watch The News Anymore. They Have Their Priorities All Out Of Whack. All I See Is Natalee Holloway And Britney Spears And The War In Iraq. Where's The Substantive News? Where's The Zach Braff Coverage?

I Know The Bible Isn't Real Because It Never Once Mentions Me.

I'm Not Sure When Or Why The Tabloid Angle On Me Was Decided That I Am A Cad. I Would Have Much Rather It Had Been That I Am Secretly A Dentist Or That I Love Soup.