I Don't Believe Pumpkin Pie Is Even

In Vegas, You Have An Audience You Can't Find Anywhere Else. It's From All Over The Country. You Play Seattle, Everyone's From Seattle. But In Vegas, You Have Six From Seattle, A Bunch From L.a., Some Local Las Vegans And Maybe A Farmer From Iowa. In Vegas, You Learn The Ins And Outs Of Holding A Room Because Of That Great Spectrum Of Folks.

I'm Not A Great Joke Writer, Which Is Odd For A Comic To Say, But I'm Not.

I Was Broke Until I Was 40. Really Broke. I Could Get By, But I Had Nothing.

You Know. I Don't Think I'm Gonna Be Jewish For Very Long.

No Matter What, Your Parents Are Going To Worry About You. I Had A Tour Bus And My Mother Still Thought I Was Broke. Remember: It's Your Life, Not Theirs. Just Because Your Parents Sent You To College Doesn't Mean They Bought The Rest Of Your Life.