I Don’t Believe For A Second That

My Parents Got Carried Away With The Letter P When They Were Naming The Kids In Our Family. There's Me, Paula, My Sisters Peggy And Patty, And My Brother Pjimmy, Spelled With A Silent P.

I Was Diagnosed A Number Of Years Ago With Obsessive-compulsive Disorder - Which Everyone Has, To Some Degree - And I Have This Really Annoying Trait Where In Conversation, I Always Steer It Back To Something That Happened To Me.

I Hate It When My Hair Is Engaged In Unauthorized Activities.

My Act Is Sort Of Improvisational. I Have A Skeleton In My Head, But No Fat Or Skin On It.

When We Save The Rain Forest, The Polar Bear, And Al Gore, We Should Party So Hard That Canada Calls The Cops On Us For Noise.