I Didn't Realize It Was October Until

The Heaviest Snowfall In Over 60 Years Is Being Reported In Beijing, China. To Give You An Idea Of How Bad It Is, The Army Is Now Using Snowplows To Run Over Dissidents.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Announced That He Is Going To Run For Governor On Our Program Last Night. My Staff Didn't Know, Arnold's Staff Didn't Know, I Was Shocked As Everyone Else. If He Doesn't Get Elected Governor, Maybe He Should Work For The Cia. I Mean, He Can Keep A Secret Better Than They Can.

America Needs Obamacare Like Nancy Pelosi Needs A Halloween Mask.

A Number Of Plastic Surgeons Are Claiming That Looking At John Kerry Now, As Opposed To A Few Months Ago, They Believe He's Had Botox Shots. They Claim A Number Of His Worry Lines Have Vanished. They Haven't Vanished, Just Howard Dean Is Wearing Them Now.

How Many Have Seen That Osama Bin Laden Footage? Pretty Scary. In Fact, Today, Nbc Ordered 13 More Episodes.