I Decided To Stop Drinking While It

If You Want To Lose A Bit Of Weight, Don't Eat Anything Out Of A Bucket.

Nothing Means Anything Here. When They Pull Down An Outstanding Building, No One Objects. Oh, Maybe There's A Wee Protest From Some Collectors Or Something Who Take A Picture Of It Before It Vanishes.

It's My Mind, And I Reserve The Right To Change It As Often As I Like.

I Think Of My Life As A Series Of Moments And I've Found That The Great Moments Often Don't Have Too Much To Them. They're Not Huge, Complicated Events; They're Just Magical Wee Moments When Somebody Says 'i Love You' Or 'you're A Really Good At What You Do' Or Simply 'you're A Good Person'.

I Don't Think I've Ever Died On Stage. I've Had Jokes That Died On Stage. I've Told A Joke And Absolutely Nothing. They Didn't Know It Was The End Of The Joke.