I Come Up With My Jokes By

Childhood Obesity Affects All Pedophiles.

I Had Written For Jimmy Kimmel And Sarah Silverman In The Past. Jimmy Had A Different Voice, And Different Priorities. He Couldnt Be The Bad Guy In The Joke; He Couldnt Upset People, Really.

I Don't Ever Want To Have Kids Of My Own. But I Do Want A Lot Of Kids.

It's Always Difficult When Someone Close To You Passes Away. But It's Really Tough When They're On Top Of You.

About A Month Ago Some Kids In My Neighborhood Were Playing Hide-and-go-seek And One Of Them Ended Up In An Abandoned Refrigerator. It's All Anybody Talked About For Weeks. I Said, 'who Cares? How Many Kids You Know Get To Die A Winner?