I Can't Eat Spaghetti. There's Too Many

I Like Cinnamon Rolls, But I Don't Always Have Time To Make A Pan. That's Why I Wish They Would Sell Cinnamon Roll Incense. After All I'd Rather Light A Stick And Have My Roommate Wake Up With False Hopes.

I Got A Smoke Alarm At Home, But Really It's More Like A 9-volt-battery-slowly-drainer.

It's Weird... People Say They're Not Like Apes. Now How Do You Explain Football Then?

I Wanted To Get A Tape Recorder, But I Got A Parrot Instead. I Think I Did That Joke Backwards.

I Want To Get A Job Naming Kitchen Appliances. That Seems Easy; Refrigerator, Toaster, Blender. You Just Say What The Thing Does And Add "er".