I Can't Be Skinny All The Time.

He Was All Emotion All The Time, Constantly Talking About His Feelings And His Profound Love For Her. He Was Minutes From Getting His First Period. He Wrote Poems Too. It's My Personal Belief That If Men Are Writing Poems, They're Making Up For Something Else Like A Big Hair Back, Or One Ball. Not That One Ball Is A Bad Thing. Especially Since I Don't Know Any Females Who Are Dying To Their Their Hands On A Set Of Balls. The Way I See It, The Less Balls, The Better.

I Don't Cook... I Don't Know How To Clean... There's May Be A Good Chance I'm An Alcoholic.

Why Would You Go Out And Not Drink? Just Stay Home And Sit There.

Tara Reid Is Charging $3,500 For A Personal Appearance Fee. So, For Only $3,500 You Can Either Buy A 1998 Jetta With 130,000 Miles On It... Or Tara Reid, Who Only Has 98,000 Miles On Her.

I Have Been On A Life-long Search Of How To Stay In Shape Without Putting Any Effort Into It Whatsoever.