I Believe Only Foreigners Should Run For

When I Do Stand-up Around The Country, I Often See People Walk Out. This Is A Show That They've Purposely Gone To, Where My Name Is On The Ticket, And It Cost Them $75 Or Something. So, You Think, Wow, That Means That They Either Didn't Know Very Much About Me When They Bought Their Tickets Or They're That Offended By What I've Said. I've Been Doing This A Long Time. Anybody Who Comes To One Of My Shows Must Sort Of Have An Idea Of Where I'm Coming From.

Ninety Percent Of People Support Background Checks. Which Means Even People Who Can't Pass A Background Check Support Background Checks.

This Is America. We Don't Call An Election Before We Know Who Won. That, After All, Is The Job Of The Supreme Court.

Arnold Was On The 'today' Show Today, He Was A Little Light On Specifics. He Said He Could Solve California's $38 Billion Budget Deficit, Without Cutting Spending Or Raising Taxes Because There Was A Third Way. What Is It? Let's Just Say It Involves A Robot Going Back In Time To Convince Gray Davis To Go Into Dentistry.

Being A Conservative Also Used To Involve The Concept Of People Being Free To Do Whatever They Want To Do, As Long As It Doesn't Hurt Somebody Else. Conservatives Used To Be Very Libertarian.