I Am Not A Politician Going Around

If It Was Just The Potatoes That Were Affected, At The End Of The Day You Will Pay The Price If You're A Fussy Eater.

I Think We All Have A Slightly Gay Gene Inside Us, Don't We? It Might Be 0.00001 Per Cent As Mine Is, Or One Per Cent As Yours Is.

People Come Up To Me In Supermarkets And Demand Humour. And The Less Amusing I Am, The More They Piss Themselves. So I Say, "i'm Doing My Shopping, Mate, Ok?" And The Guy Will Be On The Floor In Hysterics. Quite Odd. Eventually I Do Have To Say Something Funny So I Usually Go For Something Pathetic Like, "it's A Nice Place To Shop But I Wouldn't Like To Live Here!" And They Roar Again. Wet Themselves. I'm Lucky Though That I Am Not Massively Famous, I Can Get The Tube Without Much Bother. Must Be Awful Being The Beckhams.

The Best Feeling In The World Is Performing In Front Of A Live Audience Who Like What You're Doing. I Can Understand Why People Become Dictators Just Because Of The Thrill They Get Making The Speeches.

Actually, Bizarrely, In America, I Get More Appreciation From The Odd, Unusual Stuff I've Done, Almost Because I'm Not, If You Like, Famous In America As I Am In England.