I Am In The Prime Of Senility.

If I Knew A Miser, Who Gave Up Every Kind Of Comfortable Living, All The Pleasure Of Doing Good To Others, All The Esteem Of His Fellow-citizens, And The Joys Of Benevolent Friendship, For The Sake Of Accumulating Wealth. Poor Man, Said I, You Pay Too Much For Your Whistle.

If You Want To Be Rich, Think Of The Savings And Get Them.

Hot Things, Sharp Things, Sweet Things, Cold Things All Rot The Teeth, And Make Them Look Like Old Things.

If You Want A Neat Wife, Choose Her On A Saturday.

An Iron Rod Being Placed On The Outside Of A Building From The Highest Part Continued Down Into The Moist Earth, In Any Direction Strait Or Crooked, Following The Form Of The Roof Or Other Parts Of The Building, Will Receive The Lightning At Its Upper End, Attracting It So As To Prevent It's Striking Any Other Part; And, Affording It A Good Conveyance Into The Earth, Will Prevent Its Damaging Any Part Of The Building.