I Always Try To Avoid Anything That

If I Could Cause World Peace By Taking Someone Out To Lunch, I'd Go, 'well, War Isn't That Terrible.'

Reality Tv Has Totally Destroyed Soap Operas. They're Gone. They Used To Be The Biggest Thing In The World - They're Gone.

Back When Jerry Seinfeld Was Just Another Comedian Hanging Around The Clubs, I'd Imitate Him To Amuse Myself And The Other Comics. The Club Owners Would Say, 'what Are You Doing That For? Nobody Knows Him.'

Off-camera, I Sound Like Perry Como.

There Are Times When I've Had Ideas Walking Down The Street That I Thought Were Great, And The Minute I Got Onstage, I Would Think Of Them And Go, 'wow, That Would Never Work,' Even Before I Did It In Front Of The Audience.