Hookers In Times Square, God Bless 'em,

You Probably Heard About The Big Prisoner Swap With Cuba. A Man Who Has Been Incarcerated In Havana For Five Years Is Back Home In The United States. And We Sent Them Some Prisoners. The Deal Still Has To Be Approved By President Obama And Bud Selig.

The General Election's Taking Place Today In Iraq, So I Guess That Means We're One Step Closer To Being There For Another 10 Years.

Every Day We Learn More And More About This Wacky Osama Bin Laden. He Lives In A Cave And At One Time He Was A Womanizer. But Now He Has Settled Down With His Five Wives And 26 Kids, So That's Now All Over. ... He Also Had A Drinking Problem At One Time. I Believe He Went Through 'jihab'

Critics Of The Wall Street Protesters Claim That They Have Old Ideas, Nothing New, And They're Never Going To Work. Wait A Minute., That Sounds Like This Show.

When I Stopped Smoking Cigars It Was The Biggest Mistake I Made In My Life. So My Resolution For 98 Is Im Going To Start Smoking Cigars Again. I Gave Them Up About A Year And A Half Ago, And I Now Realize That It May Have Been My One Last Fun, Interesting Thing To Do.