Hitler Never Bothered With Restaurant Reservations; He

The Christians Gave Him Sunday, The Jews Gave Him Saturday, And The Muslims Gave Him Friday. God Has A Three-day Weekend.

I Worry About My Judgment When Anything I Believe In Or Do Regularly Begins To Be Accepted By The American Public.

Most Of The Note-taking Happens While I'm Watching Television. It's A Broad Window On The World, And A Lot Of Things Are Already Established In My Mind As Things I Say, Things That I'm Interested In, Things That Are Fodder For My [stand-up] Machine. And When I See Something That Relates To One Of Them, I Know It Instantly And If It's A Further Exaggeration And A Further Addition, Or An Exception - If It Plays Into Furthering My Purpose, I Jot It Down.

Why Do They Put Braille On The Drive-through Bank Machines?

I Set Out To Become A Comedian, And I Said In Order To Do That The First Thing I'll Do Is Become A Disc Jockey And Know My Pop Music. I Like It, My Voice Is Good, And I Can Start Out Getting Confidence Without An Audience In Front Of Me.