History, Sir, Will Tell Lies As Usual.

I Object To Publishers: The One Service They Have Done Me Is To Teach Me To Do Without Them. They Combine Commercial Rascality With Artistic Touchiness And Pettishness, Without Being Either Good Business Men Or Fine Judges Of Literature.

Except During The Nine Months Before He Draws His First Breath, No Man Manages His Affairs As Well As A Tree Does.

No Diet Will Remove All The Fat From Your Body Because The Brain Is Entirely Fat. Without A Brain, You Might Look Good, But All You Could Do Is Run For Public Office.

Success Covers A Multitude Of Blunders.

Do Not Waste Your Time On Social Questions. What Is The Matter With The Poor Is Poverty; What Is The Matter With The Rich Is Uselessness.