His Pear-shaped Head, I Could Now See,

Every Sentence He Manages To Utter Scatters Its Component Parts Like Pond Water From A Verb Chasing Its Own Tail.

Philosophers Are Divided On The Question Of Whether The Narrative Therein Unfolded [the Crossman Diaries] Is Grippingly Boring Or Boringly Gripping.

Once, Bbc Television Had Echoed Bbc Radio In Being A Haven For Standard English Pronunciation. Then Regional Accents Came In: A Democratic Plus. Then Slipshod Usage Came In: An Egalitarian Minus. By Now Slovenly Grammar Is Even More Rife On The Bbc Channels Than On Itv. In This Regard A Decline Can Be Clearly Charted... If The Bbc, Once The Guardian Of The English Language, Has Now Become Its Most Implacable Enemy, Let Us At Least Be Grateful When The Massacre Is Carried Out With Style.

Like Most People Who Smoked Umpteen Cigarettes A Day, I Tasted Only The First One. The Succeeding Umpteen Minus One Were A Compulsive Ritual Which Had No Greater Savour Than The Fumes Of Burning Money.

Reading And Writing... Are Exciting. The Most Exciting Things I Can Think Of. And Now, As I Reflect... I Have To Say That I've Been Lucky In That I'm Amused By What I Do - Sufficiently Amused.