Great Humorists Are Great Insulters.

By The Time I Was In The Fourth Grade, I Sounded Exactly Like My Father On The Phone.

I'll Be Happy If I Can Just Stay Out Of Nebraska.

My Dream Was Maybe Someday, One Night I Can Be A Guest On A Talk Show, And Then I Will Have Achieved Everything I Want.

I Love My Own Coincidences And Love To Hear Other Peoples' Stories.

I Did Standup While Still Working For Johnny Carson In The Mid-'60s, Thus Gaining The Advantage Of At Least Getting Laughs From Him About How I Hadn't The Night Before.