God Bless America - What Other Civilization

Monogamous Musicians Are Like Vegan Hockey Players.

You'd Think If Anyone Could Charm America Into Caring About The Evening News, It Would Be Katie Couric, The Tri Delt From Virginia Who Became America's Sweetheart On The 'today' Show. But Her Ratings Have Been Dismal - She Comes In Last Place Every Week.

I Was The Only Kid At Camp Don Bosco Who Would Admit He Was An Alter Boy Back Home, So I Served Two Masses A Day All Summer. But I Loved The Cassock And Surplice, Ringing The Bells, Lighting The Candles - It Was Like Being A Glamrock Roadie For God.

The Word 'repulse': I Hate This Word. I Believe 'repel' Is A Perfectly Good Word, And 'repulsion' Is The Noun, As Well As The Title Of An Excellent Dinosaur Jr. Song. A Compulsion Compels You; An Impulse Impels You. Nobody Ever Says 'compulse' Or 'impulse' As A Verb. So Why Would You Ever Say 'repulse'? This Word Haunts Me In My Sleep, Like A Silver Dagger Dancing Before My Eyes. Renee Looked It Up And I Was Wrong. But I Still Kind Of Think I'm Right.

One Nice Thing About Growing Up Catholic Is It Makes You Open-minded About Other People's Religions, Since Ours Is Nuttier Than Yours.