Every Time I Open The Drawer, It's

The World I Describe Is About How People Live Now. It's Not About Zany People With Unlimited, Inexplicable Funds In An Apartment Somewhere.

I Would Gladly Have Accepted A Heaping Spoonful Of Nepotism When I Got Out Of College And Was Looking For A Job.

Who Do You Have To Sleep With To Get Laid In This Town?

I Do Want To Get Married. It's A Nice Idea. Though I Think Husbands Are Like Tattoos--you Should Wait Until You Come Across Something You Want On Your Body For The Rest Of Your Life Instead Of Just Wandering Into A Tattoo Parlor On Some Idle Sunday And Saying, 'i Feel Like I Should Have One Of These Suckers By Now. I'll Take A Thorny Rose And A "mom" Anchor, Please. No, Not That One--the Big One.

I Thought We Had Reached An Understanding, The Institution Of Marriage And I. Weddings Are Like The Triathalon Of Female Friendship: The Shower, The Bachelorette Party, And The Main Event. It's The Iron Woman And Most People Never Make It Through. They Fall Of Their Bikes And Choke On Ocean Water.