Every Relationship You Are In Will Fail,

Really, When It Comes To Gay Rights, There's Two Wars Going On. The First War Is Political. But The Culture War Is Over.

Parenting Is About Being Competent And Responsible. It's Not About Gender, Necessarily.

You Know, My Problem Is I Cant Say No To People, Especially People Who Want To Write Me Checks To Do Things.

Oh, My God. I'd Be A Terrible Doctor. I Don't Like To Touch Other People. There's A Lot Of Gruesome Stuff In My Line Of Work To Feel Or To Admit. I'm Sure Everyone's Expecting Me To Say "proctologist," But Actually No, I Don't Want To Be A Proctologist. Probably Want To Be A Dentist, Because You Don't Have To Touch Much Of The Other Person's Body, Just Their Face Or Mouth.

Owning A Gun In America Is One Way For Conservative White Males To Demonstrate Their Anger At Crime, Liberalism, Feminism, And Modernity.