Even When I Was A Little Kid,

I Never Met Anybody Who Said When They Were A Kid, I Wanna Grow Up And Be A Critic.

I Love Show Business. I Wake Up Every Morning And Kiss It.

My Grandmother Used To Discipline Me, I Mean, Beat My Ass, And I Deserved Them, Too.

Sure, I Have Friends, Plenty Of Friends, And They All Come Around Wantin' To Borrow Money. I've Always Been Generous With My Friends And Family, With Money, But Selfish With The Important Stuff Like Love.

I'd Like To Make You Laugh For About Ten Minutes Though I'm Gonna Be On For An Hour.