Even Arnold's Adviser Says He Was Shocked

At The Airport If You Refuse To Be Patted Down, They Arrest You. And What's The First Thing They Do When They Arrest You? They Pat You Down.

The Federal Government Said Today They've Begun Training Sessions For Airport Security Workers To Provide What They Call More Customer Satisfaction To The Travels, They Want To Make It Easier For Us. They're Instructing Security Guards To Glance At Your Luggage Tags So That They Can Call You By Your First Name. Isn't That Creepy? The Guy Touching Your Wife, Calling Her By Her First Name.

Did You Hear About This 20-year-old Kid Named John Walker From Northern California Who Was Apparently Fighting For The Taliban?... It Didn't Take Long For The Tv Networks To Jump On This Walker Thing. Cbs Has A New Show: 'walker: Taliban Ranger.'

Oscar Nominations Came Out Today. Up For Best Actor, Sean Penn For 'mystic River,' Jude Law For 'cold Mountain,' And Of Course, George W. Bush For 'iraqi Weapons Of Mass Destruction.'

According To Federal Reports Filed Yesterday, The Obama Campaign Spent More Money Than They Raised In The Month Of May. They Spent More Money Than They Raised? Well, That's Called Being A Democrat