Elections In L.a. Are So Different. Here

And Under The New Guidelines Issued By The Obama Administration, Federal Agents Will Not Pursue Pot-smoking Patients In States That Allow Medical Marijuana. This New Policy Is Called 'don't Ask, Don't -- What Was I Talking About?'

The Senate Is Now Considering Increasing Government Subsidies For Corn Growers To Produce More Ethanol. If We Produce Enough Ethanol We Can Postpone Our Next Invasion Of A Middle Eastern Country For Two To Three Years.

Yesterday President Obama Said, 'we Can't Continue To Treat Tax Money Like Monopoly Money.' Oh Really - How Come All Those Guys On Wall Street Got 'get Out Of Jail Free' Cards?

President Bush Announced Tonight That He Believes In Democracy And That Democracy Can Exist In Iraq. They Can Have A Strong Economy, They Can Have A Good Health Care Plan, And They Can Have A Free And Fair Voting. Iraq? We Can't Even Get This In Florida.

Republicans Are Always Criticizing President Obama For Using The Teleprompter. Is That A Big Deal? After Eight Years Of George Bush, I'm Glad We Have A President That Can Read.