Drinking Makes Such Fools Of People, And

A Child Of Three Cannot Raise Its Chubby Fist To Its Mouth To Remove A Piece Of Carpet Which It Is Through Eating, Without Being Made The Subject Of A Psychological Seminar Of Child-welfare Experts, And Written Up, Along With Five Hundred Other Children Of Three Who Have Put Their Hands To Their Mouths For The Same Reason.

I Can't Quite Define My Aversion To Asking Questions Of Strangers. From Snatches Of Family Battles Which I Have Heard Drifting Up From Railway Stations And Street Corners, I Gather That There Are A Great Many Men Who Share My Dislike For It, As Well As An Equal Number Of Women Who ... Believe It To Be The Solution To Most Of This World's Problems.

My First Big Mistake Was Made When, In A Moment Of Weakness, I Consented To Learn The Game; For A Man Who Can Frankly Say "i Do Not Play Bridge" Is Allowed To Go Over In The Corner And Run The Pianola By Himself, While The Poor Neophyte, No Matter How Much He May Protest That He Isn't "at All A Good Player, In Fact I'm Perfectly Rotten," Is Never Believed, But Dragged Into A Game Where It Is Discovered, Too Late, That He Spoke The Truth.

A Great Many People Have Come Up To Me And Asked How I Manage To Get So Much Work Done And Still Keep Looking So Dissipated.

Other Men Wear White Suits In Summer And It Doesn't Seem To Bother Them. But My White Suit Seems To Be A Little Whiter Than Theirs. I Think Also That It May Have Something Written On The Back Of It, Although I Can't Find It When I Take The Suit Off.